Summer Goals Update

It turns out I can't balance work, volunteering, three weekly blog posts, a healthy lifestyle, and fiction writing. Go figure. I'm human, and my track record for balancing multiple things isn't great. I suspected this day would come, once I started my job. So I'm going to remove the column status for Summer Viewing and Summer Reading. When I have time, energy, and the material to write such posts, I'll do so. When I don't, I won't even bother with a Swamped post.

Anyway, here's an update on my reading, viewing, writing, etc. goals:

Summer Viewing: I still haven't continued Free! Eternal Summer. I plan to... but that's work to watch. I have to think in order to appreciate it, since appreciating it doesn't come naturally. I'm fairly caught up with all current sports anime—just a couple weeks behind on Daiya no Ace—and with Ore Monogatari. I'm also re-watching Hunter x Hunter (2011). Innocent Gon makes me smile, but when I think of what he goes through later... it's bittersweet.

Summer Reading: I'm still working on The Professor and the Madman. There were several pages, maybe a chapter, dedicated to the history of dictionaries. Yeah, it's pretty fun. No, that wasn't sarcastic.

Blogging: See first paragraph. But my column at Beneath the Tangles is going strong.

Fiction: I was supposed to start revising my screenplay at the beginning of this week. I haven't touched it. I have, however, started brainstorming new story ideas... barely. Yeah, this is one reason I'm letting go of some blogging.

Work: I scoop a lot of ice cream, make a lot of milkshakes... my right wrist was starting to make me nervous with twinges, but I've been careful, and I think it will be fine.

Volunteering: I'm over halfway done with the 120 hours I needed this summer!

Fixing sleep pattern: hahahahahaha... I keep saying it will happen, but nope. And I accepted a coffee from my coworker earlier this evening... whoops. At this rate, next semester's 9:00 am classes are going to be really, really hard for me. I know I have over two months to change, but still...

So yeah. That's what I've been up to. I knew my goals were a bit too lofty, but it was worth a shot. I'll probably drop in for Summer Reading and Viewing posts from time to time—just not weekly anymore. 

Thanks for reading! I hope your summers are going well. I know for some of you, it's probably just started. 

Summer Reading: The Professor and the Madman (ch. 1-2)

I've been volunteering in a thrift store's book section. Amazingly, I've only bought two three books (the number changed after I started this post) and brought home several free ones. One of them is The Professor and the Madman: A Tale of Murder, Insanity, and the Making of the Oxford English Dictionary by Simon Winchester. Can you guess which part of the title caught my attention? Here's a hint: I'm an English major.

I think Winchester has spent too much time reading the Oxford English Dictionary (referred to as the OED from here on out), because he uses a lot of unfamiliar words. Seriously. I've been reading on the college level since long before college, and I do as much of the assigned reading as possible. My vocabulary isn't shabby. But Winchester throws in words like "louche" and "garroting" like everyone should know them.

louche: disreputable or sordid in a rakishly appealing way

garroting: present participle of "garrote," meaning to kill someone by strangulation, typically with a wire, cord, or iron collar

I've only read two chapters so far. The first begins with an excerpt of the OED's entry for "murder." It covers the incident that landed Dr. WC Minor in an asylum for the criminally insane. The second chapter has two epigraphs, excerpted from the entries for polymath ("A person of much or varied learning; one acquainted with various subjects of study") and philology ("Love of learning and literature; the study of literature, in a wide sense, including grammar, literary criticism and interpretation, the relation of literature and written records to history, etc.; literary or classical scholarship; polite learning"). This chapter focuses on Professor James Murray's life before his work as the lead editor of the OED. Murray didn't have much of a formal education, but he loved learning... to call him a "polymath" who learned for the sake of "philology" is an understatement. He was a nerd. The book doesn't say "nerd," of course. But in today's lingo, that's the best way to describe him. He knew Latin, of course. But he varied from fluent to familiar with all the Romance languages, as well as Dutch, Flemish, German, Danish. And he was quite capable in the realm of Anglo-Saxon and Moeso-Gothic as well. All that before he got higher education. If he lived 100 years later, I bet he'd be a Tolkien fan, fluent in Elvish and all derivatives, including the tongue of Mordor.

The second chapter also paused to recount the "protagonist" definition controversy. The OED said there could be multiple protagonists. In 1926, Fowler's Modern English Usage declared that "protagonist" could only be singular, and any instance of plural was absurd. The OED settled the matter over fifty years later, confirming that protagonist can, in fact, be pluralized. That's a relief, because The Professor and the Madman has two protagonists, as the title indicates.

I'm sensing that this author is a bit of a nerd, too. I'm a little out of my depth. It's like saying, "I'm a Naruto fan!" then meeting someone who knows a dozen jutsu hand signs and all the characters' names. Except with the English language.

This isn't as enjoyable as, say, a fantasy novel. But I still like it, and I'll keep puttering through it over the next week or two.

---
P.S.: I referenced the OED in two of last year's posts. I wrote about the origins of the words "geek" and "nerd." Thought it would be appropriate to link to those here, especially since they came from the homework assignment that introduced me to the OED.

Summer Reading: Pause for Script-reading, Writing, and Work

I've mentioned that my summer reading list includes my classmates' plays and screenplays. As of today, I've finally finished... one. I was introduced to these characters in class, so I'm glad I finally found out what happened to them. And the screenwriter/classmate did not to take the cruelest course, so I only got a little teary (if you're reading this, friend, thank you for having mercy). She put the main character through some rough stuff.

My friends and I have decided that our creative writing education teaches us to kill and cause emotional trauma. We can be kind of mean to each other. There's another screenplay waiting in my inbox that I know will make me pout, because we already read a death scene in class.

I think I can read one more script tonight, or at least get a good start...

My other excuses for not reading an actual book this week:

• I started my summer job last Thursday. I still have my volunteering, too.
• I've spent time writing. I'm brainstorming my next big writing project. I have to hurry. I only have a couple weeks of freedom in which to solidify a new idea. Then, I start revising the draft I finished last week. I need to prioritize that, so I can make serious progress before school resumes.
• Monday's blog post took several hours... okay, so it always takes a fair amount of time. But this one was different. Instead of writing about a single anime, I addressed why critical thinking is vital for anime fans. It took longer than I expected.

Oh, but I did crack open a book about the Oxford English Dictionary's first editor and one of the key contributing writers. Apparently, this key writer did his work from an insane asylum. So that's interesting. Also, the epigraph to the first chapter was the OED entry for "murder" (or at least part of the entry—some of those entries are really, really long). This is going to be a fun read.

For those of you who aren't English majors: the OED is an extremely comprehensive dictionary that takes up several volumes (thankfully, there's an online version that I have access to during the school year). Definitions include the words' origins, how they've evolved, and more. If I remember right, the entry for "if" spanned more than a page.

Yes, I'm a nerd. But you knew that already.

Thank you for taking the time to read my rambles. My posts on this blog are increasingly low priority. Sorry about that. I might read the OED book and more Harry Potter by next week. Or I might choose to focus on these scripts. Either way, I'll check in.

Summer Reading: The Wise Man's Fear

Last week, I said I should avoid reading until I finished my screenplay. But when I can borrow library eBooks without leaving my couch, the temptation can be overwhelming. So I did things backward: I borrowed Patrick Rothfuss's The Wise Man's Fear, finished all 1000 pages by Sunday night, and then finished my screenplay. 

The Wise Man's Fear is the second book in the Kingkiller Chronicle and the sequel to The Name of the Wind. In this one, Kvothe finally travels far beyond the University, which means we learn more about the world Rothfuss has created. This includes...

... Adem mercenaries and their country

... Fairies, and not the cute kind (finally! we knew they were part of the story, because Bast is in the inn, but we didn't know at what point Kvothe started to believe in them)

... other cultures and languages

I should probably warn you that Kvothe didn't just learn the language, politics, and favored fighting styles of the cultures he visited; he also learned their views on sex... first hand. I sort of skimmed through those parts. I wouldn't say they were extremely explicit, but I wouldn't recommend it to my more sensitive teenage self, either. 

I personally think the book wouldn't be hurt if those scenes were shaved down to something more PG. But the discussions about sex on a cultural level were interesting—Kvothe came from a more conservative culture than some that he visited. Meanwhile, here in the real word, conservative and liberal subcultures are at odds about sex, reproduction, and surrounding issues. The Wise Man's Fear may be an epic fantasy, but it's definitely a product of its time. 

Since I fall on the more conservative side of the spectrum (for a more complex reason than "because the Bible says sex outside of marriage is a no-go," though God's Word would be reason enough), I could get too annoyed about Kvothe's... adventures and miss out on the story. Instead, I enjoy the insight into a decidedly non-Christian perspective. Don't misunderstand: I know that the characters' actions and words do not always represent the author's beliefs. The characters themselves disagree with each other. But I've stopped by Rothfuss's blog, and as much as I enjoy his writing, I won't be putting his posts on my church's overhead projector.

It's almost midnight PST, so I'd better wrap this up: I still love the Kingkiller Chronicles, and I look forward to the third book. There is a shorter, related book about one of the Kvothe's friends, and I'll probably pick that up this summer. But other than that, I'll just wait patiently for Day Three of Kvothe's storytelling.

Summer Reading: Harry Potter 2 & 3

This will be a quick post. I've been really busy with volunteering (required for graduation) and applying to jobs. I needed to take tonight to just rest. And I really should stop myself from reading much more until I finish this draft of my screenplay. I "only" have to finish the resolution, but I'm guessing that means at least ten more pages (I'm already past 130!), and the procrastination has been awful.

I did less reading in the past week: just Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, followed by Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, which I'm close to finishing.

A few notes:

Yes, The Prisoner of Azkaban includes divination. I'm not particularly offended. I don't think Rowling is advocating divination—it's just part of the magic in the world she's created.

I'm still enjoying the Harry Potter books. They are a little formulatic, like a TV series: Harry starts the new school year, meets the new Defense from the Dark Arts teacher, clashes with Malfoy and Snape, plays Quidditch, learns a little more about Voldemart and his parents, and somehow solves a mystery that the adults couldn't solve themselves. 

That's all I'm going to say, because it's almost past my deadline. Hopefully next week's post will be longer... and hopefully my screenplay will be done, so I can let myself read more. 

The Name of the Wind (finished) and Harry Potter (Years 1-1.3)

This is the second post in my "Summer Reading" column—the post title is too long without including the column title, so I think I'll leave it out from now on.

I'm loving this reading-for-fun thing. The bookworm within me needed only a little encouragement to come out from her cave. Before I knew it, I was staying up all night and letting books distract me from responsibilities. In the past week, I think I've read almost 900 pages. Five years ago, that wouldn't have been a big deal, but that was before anime distracted me. Since then, I've only read a few just-for-fun books each year. I forgot how these pages can consume me. At 4:00 am, I can still be saying, "I'm not sleepy yet. Just one more page... and another... and another..." It's worse than YouTube videos.

Anyway, this week's titles are The Name of the Wind and the ever-so-controversial Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. I've also begun Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.

This would be a much better picture if I had The Name of the Wind
in print. But I would have had to request it from another branch in
our library system, and then wait. So I borrowed it via Kindle instead.

I finished reading The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss a few days ago. It was even better than I remembered. In addition to what I talked about last week, here are a few more elements I enjoyed:

- The Name of the Wind begins in third person, following the activities in the Waystone Inn. Then, as Kvothe tells his own story, the majority is in first person. Every now and then, he pauses his story, and we enjoy another chapter in third person. This arrangement enhances the intrigue. Kvothe's adventures clearly changed him, and we still don't know exactly how.

- On a similar note, Kvothe makes an entertaining, interactive storyteller. Every now and then, he'll make a comment like, "If you're not a musician, I don't expect you to understand." When he says such things, I'm pulled back into the Waystone Inn for a moment, where I sit next to the Chronicler and Bast, listening to Kvothe tell his tale.

- The magic in The Name of the Wind often draws from science. For example, Kvothe occasionally mentions that energy can neither be created nor destroyed—a law that my Physical Science professor mentioned a few dozen times last semester.

- The poetic epilogue mirrors the prologue. It's not exactly the same, but it shares its rhythm and several lines.

Now, I can't say I love every aspect of The Name of the Wind. I feel obligated to give a disclaimer: there's sexual innuendo, and it's clearly not written from a Christian worldview. Rothfuss's approach to his world's mythology is particularly interesting. He's developed myths that draw a bit from Christianity. Some stories about the great Tehlu remind me a lot of Jesus' life on Earth, though Tehlu's mercy and justice aren't nearly as magnificently executed. (No, I won't go into the details... you know that if I start, this post will become 1,000 words longer, and I don't have time for that. But if you've read this book, please feel free to comment about it.) In addition to the basic myths, there are superstitions. And the main character, Kvothe, is very skeptical about much of it.

The Name of the Wind is only the first in the series. Kvothe will take three days to tell his story, and this book was only the first day's worth. The second book is already out, and I plan to request it at the library soon. I think Rothfuss is still working on the third book, but there is another, smaller, related book already out about one of the side characters—of course, I plan to read that this summer, too. All-in-all, Rothfuss has developed an interesting world populated with interesting characters, and I definitely recommend it to fans of fantasy.

Now, onto the second topic of the week: Harry Potter. Some of you might be thinking: "Wow, Annalyn. Are you sure? I mean, that anime stuff is suspicious enough, but Harry Potter? I heard that good and bad get mixed up in that series. And that it promotes real witchcraft. And other stuff."

Okay, I'm not exactly a Harry Potter expert. My parents didn't explicitly ban me from reading them when I was young. If I'd asked, I'm sure Dad would have given them a read and then let me at 'em. But I knew some of my friends weren't allowed to read it, so I didn't push the matter. Now, as a young adult, I'm starting to feel woefully uninformed. I'm a creative writing student who loves fantasy, and who has ties to various nerdy communities. One of my literature professors has made connections between Harry Potter and a book we read for class. I was one of few who has neither read them nor sat down to watch all the movies (though I think I've seen all or most of them at various points, mostly over my cousins' shoulders when I was living with them).

For the accusations about morality: uh... sorry, but everyone I've talked to who's actually followed the entire series seems to disagree. You'd have a much better case against Pirates of the Caribbean.

For the quibbling about witchcraft and other religious matters: Go with your conscience with this one. But from what I've seen and read, the magic in the HP series has very little to do with real Wiccan or occult practices. And J.K. Rowling has repeatedly said that she is a Christian. Granted, she's no conservative. A quick glance at quotes on Wikipedia suggests she and I wouldn't see eye-to-eye on a few religious matters. But she most certainly isn't Wiccan (contrary to one rumor that I heard years ago).

Now, a quick note on the books themselves: Sorcerer's Stone was fun.  (Yes, I know it should be called Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, and American publishers changed it. Since I'm already acquainted with alchemy and the philosopher's stone, thanks to Fullmetal Alchemist, the changed wording annoys me. But whatever.) It has a whimsical, story time feel. The Dursleys are absurdly cruel. I have to suspend my disbelief for them and for unreasonable teachers more than I do for the magic itself. I enjoy the world Rowling has created with wizards and muggles and their interactions.  I worried that I'd find it lacking, since I just finished The Name of the Wind, but it's plenty entertaining.

I started the second book, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, this evening. It, too, is entertaining. There's a bit too much recap of the first book for my taste, as if Rowling expected some readers to pick it up without reading its predecessor. But that's a minor annoyance. Unless I have some self-control, I might finish this tonight.

Next on my reading agenda: the sequels to the two series mentioned herein. I probably should pick up one of the non-fictions on my To Read pile, too. Also, the plays and screenplays my Play Writing classmates are sending to me—of course, I won't write about those here. Actually, I need to finish my own screenplay... I think I'll be the last one to send mine out. I should probably set aside reading for a bit and work on writing instead.

Have you read The Name of the Wind or Harry Potter? What do you think of them?

Summer Reading: The Name of the Wind (Ch. 1-6)

In yesterday's post, I told you about two summer blog columns: one for books, and one for anime. Both will be casual, much like my Rewind posts. I'm starting these summer columns to keep me accountable. But I hope you'll enjoy them, too. Maybe you'll decide to check out one of the books I'm reading... or maybe you know of a book I absolutely must bump up on my priority list.

~

I'm starting with Patrick Rothfuss's The Name of the Wind—The Kingkiller Chronicle Day One.  I read it several years ago, before the sequels came out, and I loved it for the fun, excitement, and fantasy. Now, I'm reading it with a new level of appreciation. Literature classes have taught me to slow down and enjoy descriptions, to delight in wording and unique metaphors. Writing classes have taught me to notice voice and perspective, to think about pacing and characters. Last time I read The Name of the Wind, I didn't notice the details. I forgot entirely about the first six chapters. I don't think I'll forget again.

The descriptions and wording in general make me happy. Look at the first two sentences:

"It was night again. The Waystone Inn lay in silence, and it was a silence of three parts."

Rothfuss spends the short prologue describing the three parts, and it's rather poetic. I'm certain some elements of it are symbolic, but this is not a school paper, so I'll refrain from delving too deep. Instead, I'll skip to the prologue's last sentence. "It" refers to the third silence:

"It was the patient, cut-flower sound of a man who is waiting to die."

Whoosh. What a way to end that beautiful prologue! But the man to whom the third silence belongs is still young. His hair is "red as flame." Why would he be "waiting to die"? This is the first of many questions to cross my mind.

In the first six chapters, we learn a little bit about the main character, known in the town Newarre (wait... "no where"? "New war"? Both? Hmm...) as "Kote": He has owned the Waystone Inn for about a year, and he's careful to keep the appearance of a "simple innkeeper." He's younger than thirty, but his experience makes him old, and he already has a student (who clearly comes from his pre-innkeeper days). His red hair and green eyes get brighter and dimmer. He has experience fighting nasty creatures that the smalltown folk would call "demons." It seems obvious that he is the "Kingkiller" mentioned in the book series' name. But he won't admit anything directly for almost 50 pages.

Then, the Chronicler comes to town. He wasn't sure if he'd find the legendary man, but he came anyway, hoping to collect the story of Kvothe the Bloodless. At first, Kote refuses. He's a little angry. Chronicler could be putting him in danger, could reveal his identity and location. And his story apparently includes quite a bit of pain. But Chronicler is persuasive. Kote/Kvothe finally agrees, but on his terms: he will take three days to tell the story, starting the next morning.

At the end of Chapter Six: "The Price of Remembering," a change occurs. Chronicler muses about Kote's unusual terms and explains them by saying, "You are Kvothe." After that, "the man who called himself Kote" smiled, and "a spark was kindling behind his eyes. He seemed taller." From then on, "Kote" is Kvothe.

Names are important in The Name of the Wind—important to the main character, to the author, and thus to the readers. Kvothe chose the name "Kote" very carefully when he came to Newarre. I don't know what it means, and Behindthename.com was of no help, but hopefully I'll eventually learn its significance. But the names of things are important, too. Knowing something's name allows one to command it. I don't know the details yet.

So far, the narration has been third person limited, almost third person dramatic at times. The narrator occasionally gives insight to characters' thoughts, but not word-for-word. And often, the action plays out like a movie, and we must interpret the images without hearing the characters' inner thoughts. The effect is just removed enough to be mysterious, but it's also inviting, warm. It seems to say, "If you stick around this inn for a while, I'll get that innkeeper to open up. Then you'll hear a better story than his patrons have ever told."

Kvothe starts telling his story in Chapter 7, which I am about to read. This is where the real tale begins.

~

Coming up on my reading list:
- Finish The Name of the Wind
- The first two Harry Potter Books (I reserved them at the library, so they have to be next)
- The next installment of The Kingkiller Chronicle.
- A non-fiction... maybe I'll start with The Abolition of Man by C.S. Lewis. It's thin—a good warm-up book.

Have you read The Name of the Wind? Did you take time to notice all the cool images and descriptions? If you haven't, I hope you'll add it to your summer reading list. Then we can have fun talking about it together.

Summer Break Blogging Plans

It's already been over two months since my last post here... wow. I haven't gone that long without posting on here since spring of 2013. But I can't say I feel bad. In the past few months, I've had plenty of writing projects to keep me busy.

My column at Beneath the Tangles keeps me accountable to think more critically about anime and faith, and I enjoy it. I have a lot of freedom with where I take each post, but I usually end up going deep. On several occasions, my Saturday morning journal and prayer sessions have related to the next Monday's blog post. 

In other news, I turned in Draft 0.9 of my screenplay last week. I can't quite consider it the first draft, since several scenes are still just outlines. But I will finish it in the next few weeks! Then I'll set it aside for a couple weeks to let it cool off before I start revisions. This project started as homework, but now that the semester's over, I can take it as far as I want. I think it might work better as a book, so I'll probably rework it into novel form, starting later this summer. I might start a prequel, too. Thanks to the prewriting homework, I know the main characters' parents' generation pretty well. They intrigue me. After all, they're the ones who let the kingdom fall into so much evil.

So, that's part of my plan for the summer. But I have other plans, too, and I think I'll use this blog to keep me accountable to them. I'm such a terrible procrastinator, I have to be kept accountable even to fun things. 

1. I'll finally watch some of those anime I keep saying "I'll get around to" (Free: Eternal Summer, Psycho Pass, a few Miyazaki films...). Also, I'll get caught up and stay caught up on my sports anime (I had to let some of them go in order to focus on school). To that end, I hope to run a weekly column throughout break to keep me accountable. Maybe I'll title it "Anime Report." I'll tentatively schedule it for Fridays, but I can't set anything in stone until I know where and when I'll be working this summer.

The sticky note on the shelf is for anime: old shows to try or to
finish, shows I'm already following, and shows to re-watch.

2. I'm going to read. I already have two piles, labeled with sticky notes: "Summer Reading: Non-Fiction" and "Summer Reading: Fiction." The second sticky note also lists books I plan to check out from the library. Once such library book is The Name of the Wind, the first installation of the Kingkiller Chronicle. I just started re-reading it, and I plan to read its sequels. However, I need a little help re-awakening the bookworm in me. To that end, I'll start a weekly post series, in which I say something short about what I'm reading. 

3. I will write fiction! In addition to expanding and revising the screenplay I wrote about above, I hope to start brainstorming a new long story (I'm not sure if it will be a screenplay or a novel). Maybe I'll come up with something more lighthearted this time. I'll also refine a short story I wrote for a different class this past semester... and look into contest possibilities. I should probably write another short story this summer, too. 

I know I won't get to read and write everything I hope to. I need to get a job, after all, and I like to spend time with family. But I'll make a concerted effort, and blogging will help keep me accountable. So, here's a tentative blogging schedule... I'll at least hold to it this week:

Wednesday (tomorrow/tonight): Summer Reading. First up is The Name of the Wind. It will be a very short post, I think.

Friday (maybe 7ish PST): Anime Report. Don't know what will go on there this week, but I suspect it will involve a sports anime or three.

Monday afternoon: As usual, a post will go up in my corner at Beneath the Tangles.

We'll see how my volunteer hours and eventual job affect my plans in future weeks. 

What are your goals this summer? Do you have a to-read or to-watch list? Maybe we can plow through some of these titles together. 

Internet Addiction

Two factors have forced me to face something about myself that I'd like to deny.

First, my laptop is at Best Buy right now, getting cleaned up and taking advantage of that warrantee I bought when I got it. I miss my dear computer. Sure, Mom's computer is almost the same in look and function. But even if I had full access to it, it's still not mine. The mailbox isn't synced with my two gmails. The background isn't that pretty screenshot from Nabari no Ou. Safari's homepage isn't my email account. If I want to access my documents, I have to insert my memory stick. If I want Twitter, I have to log out of Mom's account (not that she actually uses it) and log myself in. I don't know if Mom remembers her Twitter password, so I'm playing it safe so my password doesn't replace hers.

I'm not sure if I'll get my computer back in the next couple days, or if I'll leave it there long enough to replace the battery. The battery doesn't need replacement yet... but again, I want to take full advantage of the warrantee, the battery should already be on its way to my house, and I can't replace the battery in my Mac on my own.

Another thing has happened in the past few days: we've returned to our old internet service, one with a limited amount of gigs we can use per billing cycle. I still haven't figured out what that means for how much anime I can consume and how many hours I can spend on Facebook games. I'm not the only one in the house who uses the internet, after all. I think my regular usage would be fine, but it's not my money at risk, so I want to play it extra safe.

Between missing my computer and being wary of internet consumption, I've been forced to examine my habits. Thus, I've come to the conclusion that I might be a wee bit addicted to the internet. Okay, so I definitely am. When I'm awake, I'm rarely off the net for more than four or five hours, especially if I'm at home. Even if it's just for a few minutes, I feel the urge to check Blogger, Facebook, or Twitter.

I think a picture of the principal from Danganronpa is
fitting for a post about being held captive, whether
I've been trapped by the internet or a stuffed bear.

I should take advantage of this time without my computer. It's a great opportunity to be purposeful with my time, without the constant temptation of my laptop. Maybe I should go to the library and unearth the bookworm in me. Before I got my first laptop and unlimited access to anime, I would speed through several books in a week, or even a day, especially in the summer. Now, I've only read two novels in the past month, and those only because they were given to me. If I want to write professionally, shouldn't I spend a little more time reading, and a little less time online?

Notice that I used the word "should" three times in that last paragraph, instead of the more binding word "will." I haven't even fully admitted that I have a problem with unwise internet usage.

Perhaps I'll pay more attention to myself if I remember what else my unwise time management has cost: my time with God. It's cost my devotional time. It's kept me from serving Him by serving my family. It's allowed some of my skills to become stagnant at best, and atrophied at worst. When I allow the internet to capture me for hours on end, when I can't go a few hours without the compulsion to go online, I'm keeping myself from a full life. Where's my self-control?

Let's see... strong compulsion to go online... apparent inability to disengage from the internet once I'm on... inability to prioritize responsibilities over internet time... I hate to admit it, but I'm fairly addicted to the internet. Sure, it's not as bad as the days when I regularly spent four to eight hours on anime each day, self-medicating myself with the stimulation and escape it provided. I've improved a lot over the past couple years. But it's still not good.

Perhaps it's time to cultivate better habits, habits that include more sleeping, journaling, reading, writing, and cleaning. I have a journal entry that explored how to do that. Perhaps I should return to the entry and take my own advice. Maybe even rewrite it and post it, to gain some accountability. My internet time will be more fulfilling if I go about it with self-control.

It's time to break free and stop letting my internet compulsions control me.

Now, the above sentence sounds really good, and I'd like to end on that note. But that would imply that I'm actually going to do something about it, and I don't want to lie, even indirectly. I may or may not actually change this time. I'm tired, and not in the best state to make a commitment, even to myself - especially to myself. But I will revisit this topic before the week is over. That is a commitment I can keep.



*Screenshot from Danganronpa ep 1. Laptop edited by me, original image from a free use site I discovered. :)

My Recent Decrease in Blog Posts

In the past two weeks, with my limited time on the internet, I have re-discovered my love of reading. I have read over a dozen books (not including about as many volumes of manga), spending about as much time reading as I usually spend watching anime. After coming down with what I think is Influenza B, I re-discovered live action movies. I can't believe I never saw The Matrix before this!

All that to say... I've been procrastinating. When I have to go downstairs to hook up to the internet and take care of all my online business in one sitting, my normally high procrastination level doubles. Emails, blogging, that online game that I really want to quit (but can't cold turkey because of its multi-player nature)... I've been avoiding all of it. As much as I love blogging, I avoid it. So I decided to take this small window of time I have online to write a quick post and say: I wrote a few entries in my journal. When I return to the online world, I may turn them into blog posts if I still like them. I should be back on pace in a few days.

This post was spur of the moment, and not written to be a masterpiece. Just an quick update before I turn the internet back off. :)

Well Developed Conflict

In the past few months, the quantity of my reading plummeted. This summer, I hope to rectify that and pick out some free book from the library in the process.
I wanted to share a few lines from a book I borrowed from Dad, as well as my response to them. I quote them from the 527th page of Robert Jordan's The Eyes of the World:

- "Well, we're there." He swept a hand out in front of them in a grand gesture. "Caemlyn, the grandest city in the world." -

With those words, I think I felt some fraction of what two of the characters, Mat and Rand, felt. First came relief. After several confrontations, pains, and exhausting journeys, they finally reached their stop. But apprehension quickly joins this relief. Wait awaits them here? Will they find their friends? Or will darkfriends or the deceitfully-named Children of the Light find them first?

Either way, I have to stop laying around and get ready for the day.