Hints of the Eternal Story in Gungrave

Dead week is ending, finals are coming, and I'm more Swamped than ever. Thankfully, a little over a month ago, I had a chance to center my homework around Gungrave, my favorite anime. We were to write a brief paper about how something from pop culture reflected truths about God's story. I'm changing some wording to fit this blog's audience better, but other than that, I'm pretty much posting the paper as-is. And adding screenshots.

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This is a very brief overview of some ways that Gungrave reflects truths about us and about God (most likely without the makers realizing it). Eventually, maybe I'll write in-depth posts about some of these details. Also, I'd like to analyze what the main characters' values are, and how they contrast with a Christian point of view. But not today. Today, I focus on hints and reflections of truth.

*Spoilers ahead!* Pretty much all the important parts of the plot are spoiled. So read at your own risk. If you're interested in a more "typical" review with less spoilers and a little bit of fangirling, see my Rewind post from 2013.

Summary of Gungrave 

Gungrave is an anime that crosses mafia drama with science fiction. It centers around loyal Brandon and ambitious Harry, best friends who, as young men, become involved in a mafia-like syndicate called Millennion. They work their way up, into the leader, Big Daddy’s, inner circle, or “family.” Then Harry prepares to betray Big Daddy and everyone loyal to him. This includes Brandon. But Brandon anticipates this. Before Harry kills him, he makes arrangements for a procedure that allows him to become “Beyond the Grave.” Thirteen years later, Brandon returns to kill his best friend and everyone else who betrayed Millennion. It’s love and honor that drive him to kill, not hateful revenge. This is beautifully illustrated in the last episode, when he and Harry die together in the abandoned cafe they lived in as street kids. 

Brandon is on the left of this screenshot, in the black suit. He is an enforcer
for Millennion, which means he does the dirty work associated with avenging,
protecting, and enforcing a code of loyalty. He works in the dark, while Harry
wears the white suit of budding leadership. But in this scene, Brandon is the one
standing in the light, as his best friend's true colors are finally
revealed. Love the symbolism of this! (ep 14)

Hints of God's Story

Brandon provides an illustration of God’s unconditional love, paired with his justice. He still loves Harry, and he gives him ample opportunity to change. But when Harry won’t turn back, Brandon prepares to kill him. He further echoes Jesus when he is killed by Harry, and when his other comrades join Harry’s betrayal. He dies at the hands of the very people he loves, but he does not resent them. Instead, he returns, to bring “justice” and, to what extent is possible, reconcile relationships. Similarly, Jesus died and rose again without resentment, to redeem us from sin. And, also similarly, Jesus will return to judge the living and the dead.

Hints of Creation [Of who and what we were made to be] 

Deep relationships, especially platonic and familial ones, provide a strong theme throughout Gungrave. Before the Fall, Adam and Eve had a pure relationship between themselves and God, untainted by deceit or greed. Humans aren’t made to live alone, and that shows in Gungrave. Brandon is especially good at valuing fellowship, but Harry gravitates to family-like groups, too. First, it’s their little gang in the slums. Then, it’s Millenion. Harry even gets married. Since wives, unlike best friends, are kept out of mafia business, he enjoys a relatively fulfilling relationship. 

Hints of Fall [Of how messed up we've become since the events recorded in Gen. 3]

Death, specifically murder, is an obvious hint throughout Gungrave. But the hints that resonate more deeply come from broken relationships. Sin prevents Brandon from a relationship with his beloved Maria. He is too involved in underworld dealings—and too loyal to Harry—to be a stable man for her. When stated like that, it sounds like an illustration of the separation between God and Man after the Fall. (Now there is a topic I'd like to explore—Maria and Brandon's relationship as a reflection of the human condition.) Most glaringly, Harry does not understand that selfless love and loyalty are infinitely more valuable than power and money. Thus, he accuses Brandon of betraying him by standing in his way. Instead of trusting his friend’s goodwill, he kills him—much like Eve and Adam chose not to trust God’s command. Harry misplaces his trust and confuses his priorities, just like so many of us do when blinded by the allure of sin. 

Hints of Redemption [Of reconciliation, bringing us and the world back into our proper relationship with God]

There is an echo of redeeming love in the last episode of Gungrave. Brandon finally begins to get through to Harry, to remind him of the friendship they used to have. At times, the screen shows them as their younger selves, from before Millenion.  Past and present mix in their last minutes, and they see dead friends. This gives hints of an afterlife, and of reunion with loved ones. With Brandon’s last words right before they shoot each other, he suggests they return to their childhood, to days of freedom. In the last scene, they do just that. We see the day Brandon and Harry meet at the orphanage. It shows restoration of relationships, innocence, and freedom.

Conclusion

This is one of my favorite anime, and I’m sure it’s largely because of the elements outlined here. It shows the broken nature of human life and relationships, but it also values both of them very deeply. God isn’t acknowledged in this anime, but it does acknowledge our ability to love despite the worst, and without letting go of justice. That is something that God created, that reflects him, and is beautiful even in the most broken settings.

Gon's Dark Version of Redemption

I watched episode 131 of Hunter x Hunter. Then I turned the lights off and watched it again. Everything about this episode, from visuals to music to script, was crafted for the optimum emotional punch, to both characters and audience. As I started writing this blog post and sorting through screenshots, I found even more details and connections I'd missed. Finally, near the end, I reached the heart of the matter: Gon's need for redemption.

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Spoilers obviously lie ahead, once I find the words to express why this episode affected me—and other fans—so much.

For several months, we've watched Gon transform into a much darker version of himself. In this episode, the transformation becomes even more tagible.

Near the beginning, I get excited because Killua is ready for action. I forget that Hunter x Hunter won't let me have fun watching battles right now. Lives—souls, even—are on the line. I don't get to squeal and clap and grin, cheering on my favorite characters.

Instead, my forehead wrinkles and my eyes widen. I gasp, and I alternate between covering my mouth and letting it hang open.

Gon at the beginning of ep 131, after Pitou tells him Kite is dead.
His eyes show his mind's inability to process data, even while the
tears flow.

Gon, I murmur, watching as he slowly absorbs the reality of Kite's death and Pitou's intentions. Please, Kiddo.

The visuals in this show impress me almost constantly, largely because of the facial expressions. Look at the screenshot above. His face is well-lit, untouched by hatred—for the moment, he can't even process anger. He is vulnerable, childlike, as his blank eyes overflow with tears.

There is no music as Pitou heals her arm, preparing for battle. The absence of extra sound reinforces Gon's blank state.

Then, change. Darkness, wind, and aura gather, and audio effects gather with them. The wind snuffs out candles, and a supernatural feeling grows. The first time I watch, I wonder if I should turn my bedroom lights off, to match what I'm seeing. The second time I watch, the lights are already off, enhancing the already-strong visuals that follow.

"I don't care if this is the end," Gon says quietly. "So I'll use
everything."

I write down Gon's haunting words. If the last few dozen episodes didn't build up to this so well, I wouldn't be able to believe it. As it is, his intense emotions make me think. For some reason, I never felt very attached to Kite, and I remember his death a lot better than his life. Perhaps I should re-watch some older episodes, because I have a hard time empathizing with Gon.

Still, my emotions are not completely detached. No other anime has worried me so much by giving power to the main character.

Gon mid-transformation is scary. Reminds me of a partially-manifested
Nine Tails from Naruto. The comparison to that fox demon seems
especially apt in this scenario.

I'm not the only one worried. Pitou watches, terrified. As she sensed would happen, "His power is now equal to that of the King!"

Her words surprise me. The King's nearly divine qualities convinced me that none of the main characters could touch him—at least, not for another hundred episodes. These young'uns aren't strong enough, and the adult with the most promise died.

I wasn't completely wrong in my summation of Gon's strength—he just grew in an unnatural way. Pitou says his sudden power should come from many years of training, and his transformed body matches her words. He suddenly looks much, much older. He already had more muscles than most 12- to 13-year-olds, but now his muscles are ridiculous, he's as tall as an adult, and he has as much hair as Rapunzel.

I'm not sure I like this transformation as part of the overall presentation, and I definitely don't like what it means for Gon. But neither Gon nor Togashi Yoshihiro (the original mangaka) care how I feel about this, so I'm forced to set aside any discontent and focus on what comes next.

Thankfully, Pitou's not so scared that she can't think. We're privy to her thoughts as she processes what's happening, and her thoughts reinforce my ever-present concern for Gon: "This power could only be achieved through the sacrifice of his own life energy. He is prepared to never us Nen again. That was the resolve required to perform this feat."

It's surreal to hear Gon say, "First comes rock" in this form.
Also, I think this frame is beautiful. The light is wonderfully
done, especially as it reflects from the leaves.

Pitou is glad that she, not the King, is Gon's target. I, on the other hand, wish he would stop. Hatred is a terrible reason to battle, and there is nothing noble about sacrificing one's self solely for vengeance. A few months ago, I looked forward to seeing Gon power up and fight Pitou. Now that I've seen the reality, I wish he'd never met her. There is nothing satisfying about her death, not for me. He continues punching her after she's down . . . I don't think I've seen him that murderous before.

Killua finally arrives, but he's too late. He can't protect Gon from himself, although he tries. Killua can hardly even recognize him at first.

In the next segment, the graphics are stripped down to black, white, and, contrasted against it, red blood. It reminds me of Kurapika's confrontation with the Spiders in episode 47. Very similar visual effects were used for his moment of vengeance. It presents a stark picture, stripped of beauty and glory. There's a disconnect between the characters' psychological states and the horror of the gore around them. This is even more true now, with Gon, than it was with Kurapika.

In this episode, the nearly monochrome part starts after Gon kills Pitou. He stands there, covered in Chimera Ant blood and staring at his hands. Tears trickle from his eyes. He's still thinking of his dead friend, and his mind can't yet consider the full implications of what he's done.

Gon doesn't notice when Pitou's body moves. Even I don't fully register what happens, partially because I'm so sucked into the psychological conflict. Only Killua sees, and he bolts forward.

An arm flies. At first, I think it's Pitou's. Then I hear Gon's whisper to Killua: "It's okay. It doesn't hurt. I'm not trying to be tough. I'm kind of happy. I finally get to be the same as Kite was back then." He's referring to how Pitou took Kite's arm (ep 85).

As all this is happening, a quiet, melancholy, piano variation
of the ending theme plays in the background, adding even
more dimension.

Killua's expression is heartbreaking. "Gon," he says softly.

"I feel like I've been redeemed some."

At this moment, I realize that Gon's thinking is even more twisted than I thought. We glimpsed some of this in last week's episode, as he alternately blamed the Chimera Ant and himself. Pitou isn't the only target of Gon's vengeful anger, and he isn't just sacrificing himself; there's an element of self-punishment to this, too. That's why he's willing to kill Pitou at the expense of his own life.

When he loses his arm, like Kite did protecting them, Gon believes he's partially paid the price for his part in Kite's death. That's what "redeem" means: to compensate or to buy. I'm trusting that the translators picked the right word here, since I can only work with the English.

If his arm "redeems" him a little, than what will redeem him completely? Only one payment comes to my mind, and I'm sure it's in Gon's mind as well: he owes his life, and he's willing to pay it through death. Even if he only loses all Nen ability, he considers it part of the payment he owes.

He's not thinking of the future, of the people he can help and the good he can do. He's stuck in his tragedy. And he places his hopes for redemption in death, starting with Pitou. But there is no hope or redemption in death.

I expect to see Gon and Killua alive in the next episode, and for many episodes to come. But the physical and psychological damage will be severe, and it will be interesting to see how Gon heals. (And he'd better heal. I don't care if it takes a hundred episodes, and I understand that he'll never be the same. But he'd better heal.)

As his Nen manifests, Gon looks back at Killua one last time, then
delivers the final, explosive blow to Pitou and her death-transcending
Nen ability. Click to enlarge. There are tears in his eyes.

I don't know how to help Gon, although I suspect friendship will have a lot to do with it. If he were real, and not just an anime character, I'd know what to hope.

In real life, I know the way to redemption. Jesus' blood paid the price for all our sins. It's a price that none of us could afford. His sacrifice redeemed me—and all of us—from sin and death. But that was only part of his plan.

Jesus came back to life, giving us hope. Without the Resurrection, his death would mean nothing. He didn't just save us from death. He saved us to life. That's why I have such a hard time watching anyone—real or fictional—look to death and enslavement for redemption.

I realize that, as a secular anime character, Gon has no access to the hope I've found. If he's to be saved, it will be by a substitute hope, provided by his mangaka. Still, I want to tell him, "Wake up! This is not what Kite saved you for! If you want to be like him, to honor him, then give him your life, not your death. Your arm will do more good attached to your body than driven through that ant's chest. Don't follow your hero to the grave. You can't earn your own redemption, Gon, and you definitely can't earn it like this. I wish you lived in reality, where my hero could become your hero, and you could follow him to life!"

Gon can't earn his own redemption anymore than I can. When he tries to earn it by making himself powerful in an unnatural, life-draining way, he gets no closer to real hope.

I gave up trying to earn my own way long ago. It's as much my fault as anyone else's that Jesus was crucified. Human nature is sinful, has been since the Fall, and I was too weak to resist actively sinning each day, too weak to rescue myself. That's why Jesus died: Only he could make things right between us and God. How am I supposed to react? Am I supposed to feel so guilty, I surrender myself to death? No! That would be ludicrous. I'm supposed to accept God's gift of redemption thankfully and surrender myself to life—true, abundant life following my Lord.

Since Gon, being fictional, can't embrace the freedom Jesus offers, I'll settle for whatever substitute Togashi comes up with. But will Gon be open to it? He has a dark, twisted view of redemption, tangled with vengeance and anger. He needs to understand that his line of thinking is fruitless, and he must soften his heart, let others help him. I think that will happen someday.

And so I wait, hopefully, eagerly, for the day he smiles again.

Hunter x Hunter and Moral Sides

[Spoilers through episode 127. I wrote most of this before I watched the latest ep, which I may write about in the next couple days]
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Hunter x Hunter has blown me away with its recent episodes. The character development is masterfully done. Gon, the kind, merciful twelve-year-old kid from episode 1, has all but vanished. The light in his eyes is gone, replaced by, well... this:

On a more technical note, the animation has impressed me lately,
especially with how they portray Gon. I have a lot of screenshots
of him, since they've combined facial expressions, shadowing, and
angles in effective, heart-wrenching ways.

The screenshot above is from episode 116, in which we begin to see the ruthlessness, the anger, and the thirst for revenge that consume Gon. In this episode and more recent ones, I've searched his eyes for some sign that he's just pretending to be coldhearted. But his eyes are hard, his face shadowed by darkness. 

He's willing to hold Komugi, a sweet injured blind girl, hostage. And he seems pretty willing to actually follow through and hurt her. Again, I want to believe this is some cover tactic. But Gon's not that experienced with deception. I don't think he can act that well.

Right now, Gon is acting a whole lot like a bad guy. Look, I know he's been through a lot. I know he's upset about Kite. But that's no excuse. Actually, he could probably use a nice little talk about the drawbacks of revenge and hate from Naruto right now. Unfortunately, Naruto lives in a completely separate world (although I think his show could spare him right now, given his recently limited screen time).

Meanwhile, we've got Pitou, a Chimera Ant and known killer, protecting Komugi with her life... she is a bad guy, right? Maybe I need to go back and watch some of what she did to Kite, to help me regain perspective. Supposedly, she only cares about Komugi because the King cares for the girl. But right now, I'm starting to wonder about that.

The last dozen or more episodes begin to blur the moral lines between protagonists and antagonists. It's normal for anime bad guys to soften and become good guys. But Hunter x Hunter goes further than usual, forcing the audience to reconsider how they measure good and bad. It certainly can't be by race or stage of evolution (yes, Hunter x Hunter includes Darwinian evolution as an accepted part of the world, but that's for another post). A few chimera ants converted to the good side many episodes ago: Colt, Meleoron, Ikalgo. The King and Pitou are both becoming more sympathetic. More importantly, at the end of 126, the narrator suggests that Netero questions the real difference between Chimera Ants and Humans.

Netero - that's another example. Yes, we all love the ancient martial artist. But let's face it: he's ruthless. He won't consider sparing the King's life, and it's not just because the King is too dangerous. Rather, he has a job to complete, whether or not he completely agrees with it. He nearly kills the King without telling him his name, which he's longed to know. And, in the end, he uses a bomb implanted in him to kill the King and himself in one big explosion. Sure, he's awesome and heroic and all, but... perhaps such an action shows he is not as different from the Chimera Ants as we'd like to think.

Look at the royal guard: Yes, their moral compasses are warped. So far, they are completely devoted to what they perceive as the King's needs. There is no higher moral standard in their lives. Yet Youpi showed some respect and mercy with Knuckle. Pitou, as I already said, is almost emotionally invested in Komugi. And all three - Youpi, Pitou, and Pouf - are dedicated to their King emotionally and dutifully. Youpi and Pouf's response to the King's death is almost heartbreaking, especially knowing what we do about the King's softening heart. I dread their vengeance, for they look ready to fully embrace their demonic selves. Pitou's response still hangs in the balance.

Youpi, the big one, holds his king's remains, as Pouf's frantic
clones rush toward him. One of many heart-tugging, beautifully
animated scenes in episode 127.

Some of this is just good character development. But I think Hunter x Hunter is calling us to consider the distinctions between good and evil more deeply. How do you characterize good? By intentions? Being on the side you support? Emotions? Palatability? Is there a higher moral standard? Or is it all relative, based on the choices of individuals, groups, or cultures? Do the ends ever justify the means?

I don't know exactly what answers Hunter x Hunter will arrive at. It would appear, at least, that it's frowned upon to forget mercy entirely and resort to murder quickly.

Many of us, both in America and cultures across the world, live in a philosophically postmodern world. Moral boundaries are ambiguous, based on what's "right" for each individual or society. As a Christian, I try to stay alert to the postmodern messages around me. I believe that there is a higher moral standard, set by God. Sure, the morals are occasionally applied differently for different people and cultures. Because of that, I do agree that there are "grey areas," with room for interpretation. But I also believe that, the more a person studies the Bible and seeks godly understanding, the less grey situations will be. God is a God of justice, but also of mercy and love. Most people instinctively value each of those qualities. And, despite the corruption from our sin nature (the ultimate genetic disease), most people display at least some degree of justice, mercy, and love. So it makes sense that bad guys would be capable of showing some love, even if it's twisted love, as Pouf shows for the King (and becomes even more apparent in episode 128).

While villains are naturally able to show some good traits (in reality, this is because all humans are created in the image of God), ultimately, there are two sides: God's side and everyone else. Those who put their faith in Jesus as their savior and follow God will live eternally. They're on the winning team. Everyone else, like Satan, is living on borrowed time. There is a difference between the two.

We who follow God should strive, with His help, to obey Him. This includes cultivating some of the same traits He has, very similar to the ones a younger, more innocent Gon displayed: a strong sense of justice, value for life, love, and mercy. Like the [emotionally healthy] shounen hero, we should try to win over those who pit themselves against us and our Lord. So, yes, all you non-Christians who read this blog, be aware: I'm trying to win you over. I'm not as diligent as I ought to be, and, all too often, I write a too much for my own glory, rather than for God's. But I really want you to come on over to God's side of the line. Come to the bright side. We have cookies... sometimes. Actually, there can be a lot of hardship associated with this side. But, like most shounen protagonists, we also have the ultimate victory, so I recommend it.

I take interest in fights between good and evil, whether the conflict is internal or external, and Hunter x Hunter has both. I don't expect this anime's representation of moral conflict to be completely accurate (that would require acknowledgement of the Lord God). But I do hope that the "good guys," including Gon and Killua, will distinguish themselves by acting in mercy and love. I hope to see Gon redeemed from the hate that consumes his heart, and fully restored to the more recognizable "good guy" character. And I really hope that many of the current "bad guys" will join him. 

Rewind: The Wallflower

Last time I wrote about The Wallflower, almost three years ago, it resulted in a reflective post. I've had a few years to reflect on the same topics and add to my thoughts. Those years show in this post, so it's a little more in depth than past "Rewind" posts.

It’s been a while since I watched or read The Wallflower (Yamato Nadeshiko Shichi Henge). But I’ve thought about it now and then, attempted to watch the dubbed version, and reread my old post on the series. It’s easy to remember the premise, and easier still to remember the appeal of it. I identified with the main character, Sunako. I wanted friends to reach out to me like the boys in The Wallflower reached out to her. I wanted to be special to a group of people, and perhaps especially special to a single young man, like Sunako was. I enjoyed the light romance, and the characters’ more charming moments made me giggle. The Wallflower gave me - and millions of other girls - a way to live a fantasy. Yes, it was unrealistic. Still, it addressed real needs: the need for acceptance, companionship, love, to be pursued. In its own way, The Wallflower addressed our need for salvation from ourselves and the darkness that encompasses us.

Sunako is a high school girl who loves horror. She spends her days hiding in her dark room, watching horror movies. When she must leave the safety of her room, she hides behind her long hair. She does not put care into her appearance. Her clothes are frumpy, and her skin could benefit from basic care. She carries the pain of rejection with her; two years ago, the boy she liked called her ugly. Even before that, she wasn’t exactly a social butterfly. Now, it’s yet another reason to stay in the shadows.

Her rich, traveling aunt wants to change her. She sends Sunako to live in her mansion with four stunningly handsome boys. In exchange for free rent, they are instructed to transform her into a beautiful lady. They don’t have much to work with. Sunako is not a willing subject, and if she looks directly at her housemates, she gets a nose bleed, as she does around all such “beautiful creatures.” She would prefer to stay in darkness with her horror movies and skulls. These habits have shaped her demeanor, so she actually scares the guys. Like her aunt, they'd much rather change her into something more "ladylike" than accept her for who she is, horror movies and all.

The young men, also students at her high school, are determined. At first, they try to draw her out of darkness because they want free rent. This turns into genuine care. They don’t all compete for her love. Unlike characters in certain recent reverse harem anime, these boys have somewhat varied tastes in women (and some sense of respect). But they become her friends and defenders. One of them becomes the key love interest.

One of the "ridiculous things" I'm referring
to. This particular adventure is in ep 3.

It’s a gradual process, and many ridiculous things happen along the way. I used anime and manga to escape reality much like Sunako used horror, so I enjoyed the unrealistic scenarios and the laughs they produced. This brand of shoujo romantic comedy held particular appeal at the time - by the end of 2010, I’d also watched Skip Beat, Fruits Basket, Kare Kano, Itazura na Kiss, and similar shows. They transported me to a different reality, a place where unlikely love bloomed between unlikely people in even more unlikely situations. I considered myself an extremely unlikely candidate for anything close to romance. I craved the kind of excitement and attention shoujo heroines experienced. I liked anime where the girl was stuck living with the guys, because she automatically got their notice and companionship. I escaped into the anime and lived through the characters, because by the end of 2010, my anxiety and depression were starting to suffocate me again. I wanted someone to notice, to save me from the downward spiral, to draw me into the light even if I resisted.

Of course, I’m not a shoujo heroine, so only my family, psychiatrist, and God seemed to realize my situation. Faced with that reality, I settled for watching Kyohei draw near to Sunako. I knew that wasn’t sufficient for me. Here’s an excerpt of what I posted on February 4, 2011:

“Why then do I forget Him? I read manga, watch anime, and dream of young gentlemen to fill a prince-shaped hole. Yet Jesus already came to fill that hole, and I already accepted Him for the divine Prince He is. Do I, deep down, not truly believe that He is enough? Does some part of me think I need to prove myself worthy of His love? Jesus’ radiance outshines that of any manga or anime character. I don’t get a bloody nose when I realize His presence, but I do get overwhelmed. He is far more than a hundred times as great as Kyohei, Tankenaga, or any other character in The Wallflower. In comparison, I feel like Sunako in her most diminutive form. Part of me wants to hide in my room, turn off the lights, and escape into an anime the way Sunako does with her horror movies. But the other part of me wants to venture into that brilliant light, brave my “bloody nose,” and find out more about the dazzling Prince who gave up everything for me, who pursues a relationship with scattered little me.”

I felt helpless at that point. I knew the truth of what I wrote - Jesus was sufficient. He loved me. I held onto those facts and tried not to let escape define every moment of my free time, tried not to ignore Him, tried to rely on Him. But it would be two more months before I reached my turning point, and several more months before the heavy-heartedness was gone.

I am grateful for my time in darkness. I’m glad it wasn’t worse, but I’m also glad it wasn’t easier. My obsessive attempts to use anime as an escape, my attempts to hide those wasted hours and late nights from my parents and those who I thought lived in light, my attempts to sort out my feelings and live more organized, more productive, more like the other, “healthy” kids - these showed me my helplessness, my brokenness, my weakness, my sinfulness.

By the time I graduated from high school, by the time I took a year off to heal, I was a little mroe humble. My relationship with Jesus had weathered the storms of teenage-hood, thanks to His faithfulness. I grasped Him desperately with my eyes squeezed shut, and He held me securely in His arms. And I came out of it with a better idea of how much I needed salvation, not just from eternal punishment, but from the weight of sin and brokenness everyday.

Sunako and the boys. I think we see their
comedic/diminuitive expressions more
often than their normal facial features.

I love watching anime characters pursue each other. In The Wallflower, Kyouhei and the others pursue Sunako, showing her that the light isn’t so bad. And when the shoe’s on the other foot, when Kyouhei is kidnapped or runs away, Sunako pursues him. I’ve discovered something pretty cool about reality, though: Jesus didn’t stop pursuing me when I became a Christian. He didn’t say, “okay, my work here is done. Time to pursue the next lost sheep.” When I stray, He comes and pulls me back to Him. I’ve learned, and continue to learn, to trust His passionate, pursuing love. I trust Him with my imperfections, trust Him to know those imperfections better than I do and still love me more than I can imagine. So I try not to hide from His light when I’m faced with my brokenness. He sees it anyway, and He’s able to heal me, to work with me, to use that brokenness for something beautiful. I’ve seen some of that already. He has filled every need that I felt addressed in The Wallflower, and He does so in a way that no one else can - not in real life, and certainly not in a fictional animated story. 

Now, I’m going to stop writing. “Rewind” posts are supposed to be short bits about shows I barely remember. Well, this post is about The Wallflower, but it’s also about things that have been on my mind in the three years since I first watched it. I could go on (in fact, I have), but I’ll save it for another post.

Good post by Randy Alcorn

A year or two ago, I got into a blog "discussion" with an author who claimed that Christians do not sin. Ever. I enjoy reading this author's work, but I can't help but believe he's just plain wrong. Does he never have a single bad thought? Does he never mess up? I tried pointing out Romans 7 to him, but he refuted it, and, after some mild back-and-forth, I gave up on him.

Today, while on Facebook, I found a post by another Christian author, Randy Alcorn. I trust this one a little more, and have his blog listed on my blog. He addressed the subject using Romans 7 as his text. There's a video, too, but I haven't been able to watch it yet.

Any way, here's the URL to the post: www.epm.org/blog/2010/Jun/30/sinless-perfectionism-are-we-capable