"My Little Sister Can't Wear a Wedding Dress!"

Oreimo 2 wasn't my favorite Spring anime. In fact, if I ranked all the anime I've seen, it doubt it would make the top thirty... maybe not even forty. But its tenth episode often comes to mind. The episode's content doesn't matter much to me; just the title. I keep thinking: "Kyousuke, the wedding dress isn't even hers. Just wait until the real thing comes!" (Assuming it comes, and that Kirino gets over her brother complex... I don't want to think about all the ways the Oreimo relationships could go).

In the near future, I'll have my bathroom drawer back, the bedroom next to mine will be empty... and Lil Sis will be married. She's not just wearing a wedding dress. She's saying her vows, exchanging rings, and riding off into the sunset.

If I were to tell the story Oreimo style, here's what I'd call the episodes:

1. "My Little Sister Can't be this Mature!"

2. "My Little Sister Can't be Serious About a Relationship!"

3. "My Little Sister Can't be this in Love!"

4. "This Young Man Can't Possibly be this Respectful, Respectable, and Responsible!"

5. "My Little Sister Can't Try on Wedding Dresses!"

6. "My Family Can't be planning a Wedding!"

7. "I Can't Write a Wedding Toast!"

8. "The Wedding Day Can't Come this Fast!"

Of course, just like Oreimo titles, the truth is that the "'t" part of "can't" should be removed. Lil Sis not only can be and do all these things: she is. I was reluctant to get attached to future Bro-in-Law at first, but he is for real. He earned and kept Dad's respect. That's saying something, because Dad is good at calling Bologna Sandwich.

I'm just trying to be a good big sister. Kyousuke and I have very different situations, but I can identify with him as he tries to support Kirino. For a while, he didn't feel needed or wanted by her. When she demanded that he help her with her secret otaku habits, he seemed relieved to have a place in her life again. 

I've felt insecure with my sister before. As she got older, she didn't seem to need me much. She was never mean like Kirino, but we both had some growing up to do during high school. Now, I have a defined role as her sister. I'm her maid of honor. It's my job to look out for her throughout this whole wedding business. I probably take the role too seriously, actually. I'm just excited to have a place that I fit in her life.

Sometimes, I wonder what our relationship will be like after the wedding. Will they invite me over to try out their ice cream machine? Will she still want the next Nancy Drew game for Christmas, like I get her every year? Will she still play it with me? 

I'm not the cool big sister I once hoped to be. Any relationship advice I give is based on books, not on personal experience. In fact, Lil Sis has to help me when I do social stuff that's new to me. She gives me makeup tips and helps me when I'm too nervous to send a text or make a phone call. She's ahead of me in many ways... yet I'm still the older sibling, and my job, like Kyousuke's, remians the same: support my little sister. She doesn't need much protection from me, and she usually doesn't need much advice. But she does need my support. I think all she needs is to know that I love her, and that I'll always be available if she needs anything, even just a listening ear.

Part of me wishes I could pause our lives and say, "My Little Sister Can't Wear a Wedding Dress!" But it's a very small part. I'm truly happy for Lil Sis. In the months and years to come, she'll be busy with her work, her husband, and her home. I'll be busy with school. We'll probably be in separate cities for a while... maybe even separate states. Our relationship will change as we continue to grow in who we are. Still, instead of trying to deny it, I'm going to embrace it. The important things won't change. We'll always be sisters, both by blood and in Christ. My door will always be open to her, whether to play Nancy Drew games or just to talk. I'll let future Bro-in-Law come, too. And who knows? Maybe I'll start calling him "Big Bro" on here instead...

--

On related note, this wedding stuff has me pretty busy. In fact, I probably shouldn't be writing this at the moment. I have other responsibilities to attend to. I'll have a lot of blog posts to read and anime episodes to catch up on when the wedding's finally over. That's something to look forward to. 

Rewind: Lucky Star

No, Konata isn't really a cheerleader.

Lucky Star. The very mention of this anime transports me back two years, to a room in my snowbird grandparents’ Mexico vacation home. There’s a beach a short walk away, and the cute town proper begins just a block or two from the house. But I’ll let Mom, Dad, and Lil Sis explore without me. I can savor Mexico and family later. Right now, I’m savoring the best part of spring break. All of my responsibilities lay thousands of miles away, in a different country and a different life. I’m free to completely relax here.

 I lounge on my cot, careful not to bump my head on the counter in my grandparents’ office/makeshift guest room. The fan is on, giving me at a little relief from the hot climate. Still, my skin is sticky with sweat, and my warm computer isn’t helping things. 

I don’t mind. I adjust my position on top of the bedding every now and then, just happy to be alone, without phone service, with no worries about mom reminding me of some responsibility or another. Heat is of little concern. There’s no one around, so I don’t feel self conscious about sweat. I can focus on me. Best of all, the anxious pressure in my chest decided to take a vacation of its own. It appears that, when I escaped the homework and college applications, I escaped most of my anxiety, too. 

Some of the shows on my favorite streaming sites aren’t available in Mexico. Lucky Star, however, is. I saw it recommended on Anime-Planet after watching The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi, I believe. A-P users rated it pretty high, so I decide to give it a shot. The “slice of life” tag makes me hesitate, since I’m still learning that I like more genres than I once thought, but it looks like the good signs outweigh the bad signs. 

From Lucky Star's OP, which has lyrics with little meaning
as the cute characters dance in various locations wearing
their school uniforms... and then cheerleading uniforms.

It’s amusing. Calm, with very little plot, but amusing. The OP, "Motteke Sailor Fuku!” is fun both to listen to and watch. I don’t realize it yet, but this music will become almost as memorable to me as “ROCKS” from Naruto, with the same power to travel back in time. 

I love these characters. Konata, the main character, is an otaku. She prioritizes her games and other otaku activities over school... over most things, actually. Her friends have a lot of screen time, too, and I’m glad. Like Konata, they each have their quirks, from sleepyhead Tsukasa to her responsible twin to the clumsy pink-haired girl. They’re all cute and fun to watch.

Everything about this show is laid back, going exactly my speed as I relax over spring break. The twenty-four episodes cover many months of the girls’ lives, but nothing is rushed. Like I mentioned earlier, there isn’t much plot, so there isn’t much that can be rushed.

And yet, I am not bored. I’m surprised how much I enjoy a show where very little happens. The chuckles and smiles it brings can’t possibly be enough to carry me over two seasons. Is it the otaku references? The good feeling? I can’t quite put my finger on why I love Lucky Star so much. It doesn’t really matter. When I finish, I rate it five stars and brows the A-P recommendations, hoping for more. 

Nothing else brings quite the same feeling. The closest match is probably Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi and related titles. In fact, some of the other suggestions, including the popular K-On!, lose my interest after only an episode or two. 

I’m back to July 25, 2013 again. I planned to spend only 15 to 20 minutes on this post; 30 minutes, tops. But it’s already been 35 minutes, and I haven’t even edited or found pictures yet. I couldn’t stop writing even a second earlier. The memories were too calming, too happy to leave behind. I clearly need to re-watch this series. In fact, I’ve already started. I’ll have to watch a few episodes while I clean my room... hopefully this blissful, peaceful anime won’t put me in too relaxed a state. Otherwise, I might collapse on my bed before I get very much done. 

If you have not watched Lucky Star, I must recommend you make a point to see it soon. It’s a perfect anime for a lazy summer afternoon.

---

In case you missed it, last Thursday, I started my first weekly Rewind post with one about Naruto. I really couldn't start this post series with any other anime, considering that Naruto was my first anime love. As usual, I'd love to hear your thoughts. I really like this weekly schedule so far, but your opinion of it is just as important to me as my own.

KamiNomi Returns

This shot of Keima in ep 1 sums up how I felt upon hearing
the music.

I loved The World God Only Knows, aka Kami nomi zo Shiru Sekai, when I first saw it a few years ago. In fact, this amusing anime inspired me to Google free, clean, girl-oriented dating sims (aka otome games). The game Re: Alistair++ brought me great joy as I tried to get all the endings. If I wasn't so reluctant to expand my entertainment budget (read: slightly tightwad-ish), I'd support the wonderful, kind, generous creators at SakeVisual by buying their for-profit games.

Anyway, the second season of KamiNomi was just as enjoyable as the first, as far as I remember.

When I found out that another installment would air this season, I was tentatively excited. Why "tentatively"? I'm afraid that certain American movies have beaten me down, teaching me not to expect too much from sequels. The disappointment started early on, with Disney's Cinderella 2, and has returned several times. Yet I rarely have this problem with anime series. It's unfortunate that bad experiences in other media would follow me to anime.

The World God Only Knows: Goddesses arc (Kami nomi zo Shiru Sekai: Megami-hen... oh, for heaven's sake! Let's call it KamiNomi 3) starts out wonderfully. The use of the first OP music releases happy chemicals before I can form the words "I like this." Oh, sure, much of the first episode is annoying. It makes me feel like I missed a whole season of anime, or forgot half of what I'd already watched. In truth, I just missed the OVAs and the manga. This comment on Crunchyroll helped me and many others feel better:

Nuclear42, you probably won't ever read this blog, but I thank you for being among the Crunchyroll users who think about their fellow fans. Thanks to the rest of you who take the time to clear things up, too.

Anyway, the makers could do anything short of completely butchering the episode, and I'd still forgive them. Happy feelings linger from their use of the old OP (which, conveniently, is titled "God Only Knows"). The second half of the episode had less flashbacks, leaving room for interesting scenes. We learn more about the mythology behind the show, which loosely employs some elements from various religious traditions about heaven, hell, demons, and goddesses.

We get to see old pals again, including Kanon-chan, who seems to be living a more balanced, happy life thanks to her time with Keima in the first season... of course, life would probably be even better balanced without Apollo taking up residence in her. But I think Kanon would take a slightly air headed goddess for a bodymate over a loose soul any day. I sure would. Besides, she finally has an excuse to get Keima-san's attention again.

If all that sounded ridiculous, go here to read the Anime-Planet description of the first season, and here to watch all three seasons on Crunchyroll. Things will clear up pretty quickly. If you're a fan of anime about otaku, harem anime, dating sims/VNs, comedy, and/or fantasy, then trust me, this show is worth a try. Even if you hate one of the those categories I listed (like harem), you might like this one.

KamiNomi: Megami-hen looks like it may have a little bit more action than previous seasons. I'm not expecting epic battles or anything, but this could be exciting!

I thought I'd wait to post this until I watched all the episodes released so far, but it looks like I had plenty to say just after the first episode. I might post more on this show... or I might not. But, barring an unforeseeable disaster, I will be posting another "Rewind" post on Thursday. Stay tuned!

Internet Addiction

Two factors have forced me to face something about myself that I'd like to deny.

First, my laptop is at Best Buy right now, getting cleaned up and taking advantage of that warrantee I bought when I got it. I miss my dear computer. Sure, Mom's computer is almost the same in look and function. But even if I had full access to it, it's still not mine. The mailbox isn't synced with my two gmails. The background isn't that pretty screenshot from Nabari no Ou. Safari's homepage isn't my email account. If I want to access my documents, I have to insert my memory stick. If I want Twitter, I have to log out of Mom's account (not that she actually uses it) and log myself in. I don't know if Mom remembers her Twitter password, so I'm playing it safe so my password doesn't replace hers.

I'm not sure if I'll get my computer back in the next couple days, or if I'll leave it there long enough to replace the battery. The battery doesn't need replacement yet... but again, I want to take full advantage of the warrantee, the battery should already be on its way to my house, and I can't replace the battery in my Mac on my own.

Another thing has happened in the past few days: we've returned to our old internet service, one with a limited amount of gigs we can use per billing cycle. I still haven't figured out what that means for how much anime I can consume and how many hours I can spend on Facebook games. I'm not the only one in the house who uses the internet, after all. I think my regular usage would be fine, but it's not my money at risk, so I want to play it extra safe.

Between missing my computer and being wary of internet consumption, I've been forced to examine my habits. Thus, I've come to the conclusion that I might be a wee bit addicted to the internet. Okay, so I definitely am. When I'm awake, I'm rarely off the net for more than four or five hours, especially if I'm at home. Even if it's just for a few minutes, I feel the urge to check Blogger, Facebook, or Twitter.

I think a picture of the principal from Danganronpa is
fitting for a post about being held captive, whether
I've been trapped by the internet or a stuffed bear.

I should take advantage of this time without my computer. It's a great opportunity to be purposeful with my time, without the constant temptation of my laptop. Maybe I should go to the library and unearth the bookworm in me. Before I got my first laptop and unlimited access to anime, I would speed through several books in a week, or even a day, especially in the summer. Now, I've only read two novels in the past month, and those only because they were given to me. If I want to write professionally, shouldn't I spend a little more time reading, and a little less time online?

Notice that I used the word "should" three times in that last paragraph, instead of the more binding word "will." I haven't even fully admitted that I have a problem with unwise internet usage.

Perhaps I'll pay more attention to myself if I remember what else my unwise time management has cost: my time with God. It's cost my devotional time. It's kept me from serving Him by serving my family. It's allowed some of my skills to become stagnant at best, and atrophied at worst. When I allow the internet to capture me for hours on end, when I can't go a few hours without the compulsion to go online, I'm keeping myself from a full life. Where's my self-control?

Let's see... strong compulsion to go online... apparent inability to disengage from the internet once I'm on... inability to prioritize responsibilities over internet time... I hate to admit it, but I'm fairly addicted to the internet. Sure, it's not as bad as the days when I regularly spent four to eight hours on anime each day, self-medicating myself with the stimulation and escape it provided. I've improved a lot over the past couple years. But it's still not good.

Perhaps it's time to cultivate better habits, habits that include more sleeping, journaling, reading, writing, and cleaning. I have a journal entry that explored how to do that. Perhaps I should return to the entry and take my own advice. Maybe even rewrite it and post it, to gain some accountability. My internet time will be more fulfilling if I go about it with self-control.

It's time to break free and stop letting my internet compulsions control me.

Now, the above sentence sounds really good, and I'd like to end on that note. But that would imply that I'm actually going to do something about it, and I don't want to lie, even indirectly. I may or may not actually change this time. I'm tired, and not in the best state to make a commitment, even to myself - especially to myself. But I will revisit this topic before the week is over. That is a commitment I can keep.



*Screenshot from Danganronpa ep 1. Laptop edited by me, original image from a free use site I discovered. :)

Naruto is Back! (again)

Warning: The following post is almost pure fangirling. Just like every other time that Shippuden returns from fillers, I have dissolved into gleeful singing and dancing. This is about as far from objective as I get. The grammar and thoughtfulness I usually prize are dismissed as secondary to excitement. Proceed at your own risk. 

Spoiler warning: I’ll warn you again right before it comes, but there’s a major spoiler near the end of this post.

In case you missed my one-girl party on Twitter:

Ahem. 

*Singing to a tune similar to “For He’s a Jolly Good Fellow”* 

Naruto is ba-ack, Naruto is ba-ack, Naruto is baaaa-aaak! Naruto is back!

*Singing over*

I can’t contain my smiling. No matter how many fillers they put me through, I always return. Why? Because I love Naruto. And Gaara. And Shikamaru, Kakashi, Shino, and Sakura (don’t you dare hate on her; she’s grown up a lot over the past couple hundred episodes), and... well, you get the idea. There’s so much excitement, and suspense, and fun. And I’m just plain attached to this show. 

“It’s alright now,” Naruto says. Yep. It’s better than alright. It’s fantastic, actually. You’re here! 

I really don’t have much else to say. I’m not in a mood to be critical. I try to avoid letting my critical wheels turn when I watch Shippuden. It’s too special to me.

There was a pretty big, exciting plot twist at the end. Unfortunately, it was a little spoiled for me. Apparently the Naruto wikia operates on manga readers’ knowledge. I tried to wipe what I learned out of my mind, but I only sort of succeeded.

MAJOR SPOILER AHEAD!

Tobi is not Uchiha Madara. 

I’m pretty dang excited to see the real, albeit reanimated, Madara in action.

I really want to know who Tobi actually is. And I want to tell Sasuke the truth... yeah, I refuse to give up on him until Naruto does. As irritated as I get with Sasuke’s illogical, emotional decisions, I will stand behind all of Team Seven until the end. So no bashing him, either.

I decided to take Crunchyroll up on their free trial offer, so I get to follow Shippuden episodes as they come out for a while. Whoo-hoo! I can’t wait to see Naruto demonstrate more of his improved fighting ability!

*All screenshots are, of course, from Naruto Shippuden episode 321

Rewind: Naruto

Alright. It’s Thursday, and time to try something new. Each week, on Thursdays for now, I will sit down and blog about something from the past, most likely an anime. I’ll try not to spend more than fifteen or twenty minutes on it.

This summer marks the fourth year of anime fandom for me. On the one hand, four years isn’t a lot. Many of you have been watching anime since you were a kid. You started on Pokemon or Speed Racer or whatever was popular in your day. Or maybe you didn’t start until you were a teenager or in your college years, but you’re already over thirty, so you’ve still been watching much longer than me. 

On the other hand, four years is 20% of my life. In that time, I’ve spent over two months and three weeks in front of a screen, watching anime. I’ve completed 152 anime titles and tried at least 78 more. Yeah... those numbers include periods of unhealthy anime binging. They also include times with a little more balance. Either way, I should have enough to talk about for many Thursdays in the future.

Episode 1 of Naruto aired in 2002, when screens weren't
as wide and animation quality was different. So much
has changed since this memorable scene, for me and the
anime industry both!

Today, I want to remember the anime that started it all: Naruto. I’ve talked about it a lot, I know. But it’s only fitting that I spend a few minutes on this show in my first “Rewind” post. Nothing else will do.

Naruto is the show that introduced me to the excitement of anime. Its first OP takes me back to summer nights sitting on the kitchen counter, eating a snack and watching anime while my family slept. The song alone brings feelings of wonder and joy. 

I loved that the plot continued on between episodes. The only show I’d seen like that was Avatar the Last Airbender. I was delighted to find that the Japanese had done something American TV rarely did, spending tens and hundreds of episodes on a single story. 

Naruto was set in a very different world. The characters spoke a different language, and visual cues were often different than those in American animation. Yet it was still relatable.

I laughed. I sat on the edge of my seat in suspense. I cheered for Naruto and Team 7. I cringed every time Orochimaru came on the screen. I urged Sasuke to choose friends over revenge, and I rolled my eyes at Sakura’s antics. I found Naruto’s special “sexy jutsu” distasteful but fascinating, and his use of it to thwart older men somewhat entertaining. It’s not something I would have expected to see, that’s for sure. I didn’t understand the concept of fanservice yet, so this jutsu, like the “bouncier” women, was little more than an interesting character design. 

There were episodes that didn’t relate to the main plot, but I didn’t mind.  Even to the end of the first Naruto series, I was too enchanted by this “new” form of TV to care. The few faults I found were barely a blip on my radar.

I’ve already spent twice as long as I intended to on this blog post, so I’m cutting myself off now. My current plan is to write a "Rewind" post every Thursday for the foreseeable future. I've never put myself on a schedule like this before, so we'll see how I (and you) like it. 

Is Online Anime Fandom Missing a Demographic?

Age is a powerful social status. It often decides who we hang out with, what we drink, where we can go, and how we travel. 

One thing I’ve found both interesting and wonderful is that, like other social statuses, age matters a lot less on the internet. Teens and grandparents may participate in the same forums, comment on the same blogs, and hang in the same social networking circles. Kids and responsible adults may play the same RPG, and plan strategy together as equals. They may be friends on the internet, to one extent or another, when in Real Life age would separate them.

I’ve had the most experience with this in the anime community, first on Anime-Planet forums, then on blogs and Twitter. Age, gender, religion, race, location... all these things become less important when we’re connected by the internet and a shared interest. It presents a great opportunity for discussions that wouldn’t happen otherwise.

I feel on equal footing with many of these people, even those decades older than me. I still have an underlying respect for my elders, but I can see beyond that. In groups away from my computer, I sometimes feel shy and awkward with mixed ages and genders. In front of my screen, these things don’t matter so much. I feel more at ease.

Yet, despite the diversity and welcoming spirit I’ve encountered among online anime fans, there’s one demographic I haven’t noticed: older women. I’ve seen men up to their early sixties in forums. I’ve found anibloggers that are in their forties, around my dad’s age. Today, I looked at the birthday list on Anime-Planet and found a user who just turned 59. But, as far as I know, I haven’t seen a woman beyond her thirties or so, and early thirties at that. There’s the possibility that I just don’t know the age behind the avatar, of course. I’ve been around other anime fans for less than three years, so it’s not like I have a vast experience to reflect on. Still, I’m curious.

Why do I notice older men in online fandom, and not older women? Is it some reflection of our society?

I wonder if, particularly in previous generations, women feel more pressure than men to grow out of “childish” or “unproductive” pass times. It seems like a lot of fandoms have been tolerated, even encouraged or expected, for men well into adulthood. The biggest example of this is sports. Some plan their days and weeks around catching the big game on TV. Their sports fandom takes priority. There are women among the fans, of course, but stereotype holds that the men will be in front of the TV, maybe even on Thanksgiving Day, while the women act like “grown-ups” and do the cooking.

Whenever guys get excited or sucked into their tools, cars, fandom, or whatever, we say “boys and their toys,” whatever that means in the given context. From tots to grown men, we expect them to have something non-responsible that they’re into.

What about women? Is there a saying for us? “Girls and their frills,” perhaps? Do our mothers and grandmothers feel the same freedom to follow sports or anime, collect fandom memorabilia, play video games, or explore the far corners of the internet? Or do they feel like they must stick to the expected hobbies, like reading, quilting, cooking, art, and perhaps (nowadays) fitness? Do they feel like they must be “adults” while their husbands and brothers and sons indulge the kids in their hearts? 

Maybe I don’t know enough, but it appears that fandom/geekdom/otakudom are underrepresented in the older generations of women. I don’t see them online, at least. Am I missing something? Or is this really a missing demographic in the online anime communities?

Bonus question: Do you know of any women anibloggers who are past (or even in) their thirties? If so, where can I find them? 

Gargantia: What it Means to be Human

[Spoilers ahead] 

The thirteenth episode of Gargantia on the Verdurous Planet has a pretty interesting element to it. To put it simply: there’s a machine with a god complex, and another machine that explains humanity pretty well. Looking at it in simple terms, it’s rather amusing.

Yet the conversation between these two “pilot interface enlightenment systems” (aka the AI in the mechs) is serious. Profound, even, in a way you don’t expect from two machines.

The first machine, called Striker, is carrying on what she says are her dead pilot’s wishes. She has a fleet of humans at her service. They worship her and fall to her (and her late pilot’s) cruel interpretation of order and happiness. Their lives are controlled by her, and she’s convinced that she’s doing them a favor. “That is to say,” she summarizes, “I am the presence called god.”

Striker's a pretty magnificent machine, but a god?
Puh-lease!

Yup, we heard her right. This incredibly dangerous machine has declared herself god. She’s all “logic,” no emotion... yeah, definitely not a being I’d want running my life.

She’s even relieved her slaves of the “burden of having to think and decide for” themselves. Ain’t that benevolent of her? 

Look, I can get pretty tangled up in my mind. I think too much, and sometimes it’s hard to make my mind rest. And decisions are tough. Whether I’m choosing which shirt to wear or which college to attend, I easily get overwhelmed. And those aren’t even moral decisions! I get tired of messing up, sinning, and just generally not being perfect. Sometimes, part of me wants to pray, “God, why’d You have to give us choice? When we choose wrong, we make a pretty big mess! The examples start with Eve listening to a snake, and they go downhill from there! Can’t You make my life easier and just take complete control of me? Can You please make me stop thinking?”

But without choice, who would I be? What would I be? Chamber, the main character’s mech, makes an excellent point: “One who abandons thought and decision-making deviates from the definition of ‘human.’” Without choice, without thought and creativity, we would not be the people we identify our race as today. 

I don’t understand why God allows all the horrible, cruel choices people make. I can attempt to explain it, but I don’t know what goes through God’s mind. If I did, He wouldn’t be the amazing Lord that I follow.  My understanding is very limited; His is not. All I know is that He is good. I could go into all the reasons that I trust Him and follow Him, but then this post could sound a lot like a smitten woman gushing about her love, and I’m already off topic enough. 

Where was I?

Like I said, I can’t tell you why so many bad decisions are allowed. But I may have a small inkling of why we have the ability to think and decide things for ourselves, even if it means our self-destruction. With thought comes emotion: love, joy, sadness, excitement, relief. We have choices, so we are people. We’re not machines with one-dimensional thinking. Instead, we have emotion and spirit. We have precious relationships with each other and with God. Without these things, we may as well not exist. Actually, the human race as we know it really wouldn’t exist.

I serve the God who made us sentient beings in His image. Unlike Striker-the-scrap-heap, He doesn’t call me a slave. I’m His servant, yes (albeit a very clumsy one). But He’s also called me His friend, heir, and beloved. I trust Him because He loves, because His justice includes mercy, because His fairness includes grace. He does not need me, alive or dead. Unlike Striker or the Galactic Alliance that made her, He won’t toss me overboard because I’m a burden. He doesn’t measure my worth by what I can do for Him, or even for the people around me. If He did, I’d be long gone. 

Perhaps it’s ludicrous and unfair to compare the Lord God to a fictional artificial intelligence with a god complex. Of course Striker doesn’t measure up! That’s kind of the point: no matter what anyone tries, nothing will measure up to the Real Deal. Words fail to describe Him, and the best of us and our machines fail to imitate Him. 

God gave us thoughts, choices, and emotions. Part of being human is embracing those gifts and the responsibilities they come with. It’s tough, but beautiful. 

Chihayafuru 2, Friendship Changes, and Finishing Thoughts

[Some small spoilers ahead - nothing about who wins/loses any matches, though]


Chihayafuru 2 is over. It’s been over for a week an a half, but I’ve finally finished episode 25.

I love this show. 

The suspense of karuta tournaments, the lovely art, the good pacing, and the entertaining characters would keep me hooked no matter what. Yet Chihayafuru does more than entertain me. It draws out an empathy that I feel with very few other shows. Part of me doesn’t like the attachment I feel to the characters and their relationships, because it makes my heart hurt a little.

Chihaya shares a bond with two dear childhood friends: Taichi and Arata. Over the years, they’ve gone their separate ways. Arata only lived nearby for a short time in elementary school before he moved back to Fukui, but he is the one who ignited Chihaya’s passion for karuta. Because of that, he’s secured a special place in her heart. Taichi was never truly far away. He went to a different middle school than Chihaya, but when they reunite in high school, it’s clear that he still feels deeply connected to her, and not just because they played karuta together.

Each of the three see their bond in a slightly different light: 

Flashback to the good old days of
Chihaya and Arata's early matches.

Chihaya holds tightly to their connection through karuta. She has a passion not only for the game, but for the people she shares it with, especially Arata and Taichi. The game bonded them when they were little, and now it draws them back together. Arata is the goal Chihaya reaches for as a karuta player. In the end of the most recent series, it appears her heart has begun to go even further, as she muses, “For the rest of my life, I’ll always love karuta, and I’ll always love Arata.” I’m not sure if she means love love, or if she even knows what she means, but something’s there.

To Arata, the days he spent with Chihaya and Taichi are sweet memories. It is clear that, despite the distance, and despite the long periods of time without contact, he holds them dear. He would love to play on a team with them again, and he visualizes his matches with Chihaya to put himself in the zone when he plays competitive karuta.

Episode 20, Taichi and Arata

Taichi’s feelings aren’t so simple. He loves karuta, but it is not the only thing on his mind. He cares for Chihaya as more than a friend or teammate. Because of that, Arata isn’t just a childhood friend or a friendly rival. In Taichi’s mind, it’s not just karuta that’s on the table: it’s Chihaya’s heart. In fact, in episode 20 of Chihayafuru 2, Taichi says to his back, “You are my enemy.” Arata doesn’t hear the quiet words. In fact, Arata seems almost as oblivious as Chihaya to the whole thing. But I heard it clearly, and it made me a bit sad.

If I think back, I remember that Taichi wasn’t all that fond of Arata when they were young; he seemed to fake it to make Chihaya happy. Still, I, like Chihaya, wanted the friendship to be real and lasting.

I’m a loyal person. Once I decide someone is important to me, they stay important to me forever. Our paths may part. We may move away and find other interests. Yet, no matter how far apart we wander, that person will always have a place in my heart and home. 

Since I feel my attachments so deeply, I can’t help but project the same feelings onto Chihaya and her friendships. I long for peace among the three. I want them to play karuta together again, both on a team and as friendly rivals. I want Chihaya to remain ignorant of the ways of the heart, and I want Taichi’s heart to be at peace. I want to know where Arata’s heart is. I just want them all to be okay.

The reality is that friendships change. I’m afraid that, someday, Chihaya will have to let go of the bond she thought they all felt. That will be hard. I haven’t had to deal with romance, but I’ve had to make my peace with changing friendship. It hurt, even though the change had nothing to do with negative interactions or fights. Yet I’m okay. I know that Chihaya, Taichi, and Arata will be okay someday to, but I’m afraid that at least one of them will feel lonely.

Chihaya and Taichi at the end of
episode 25, moving forward, eyes
on the future.

I keep trying to think of a way for things to turn out positively for the three. Maybe if Chihaya outgrows her infatuation with Arata, she and Taichi will eventually become a couple. I think they’d be great together. I don’t know where Arata’s heart is, but maybe he will eventually find someone, too, someone who will join Chihaya in strengthening the bonds even as they change. First, though, I think the three need to make peace with their childhood friendship and what it means for their current relationship. Maybe they’ll be able to do that the next time they meet karuta tournament. I hope so.

But does it matter what I hope? Aren’t I powerless in the face of the original mangaka’s work? All I can do is re-watch old episodes and wait for Chihayafuru 3 to come out. Because there must be another season coming eventually, right? Sure, nothing’s planned yet, but no halfway decent studio could leave us hanging like this, at least not without someone having a guilty conscience... right? Yeah, sure, I could always switch to the manga if I got too desperate, but still... No matter. Time to move on. I’ve got novels to read, Spring anime to finish, and life to live. I refuse to hang my happiness on a single anime, even one so good as Chihayafuru. 

Guest Post and Update

Hi there, folks!

It's early as I write this, much earlier than I like my brain to be awake on a Saturday. So if there are typos or illogical thoughts, I give you my weakest apologies. I've been really busy this week, and had very little time to post. I'm a bit disgruntled that I'm out of bed at the moment, actually. I need sleep. Oh well. This might be the only time I have to post today, so I can't really complain.

Anyway, I wanted to let my readers know that this past Wednesday, July 3, I was able to contribute a guest post to one of my favorite blogs, Beneath the Tangles. The post is called Confessions of a Complaining Naruto Fan. I was going to post a link to it the day it came out, but I've been busy having fun with family and friends away from my computer screen. If you wander over there to read it, I recommend sticking around and seeing what else the site has to offer. Charles/TWWK and his co-bloggers have some pretty good material up.

In other news, in case you haven't noticed, Annalyn's Thoughts got a Facebook page a little over two weeks ago! I even made myself a new avatar for the occasion, as you see to the left. I'm not quite ready to switch from my usual screenshot of Lydia to this girl on most sites, but I wanted something I made myself for my blog's Facebook profile picture. I'm enjoying getting familiar with out Facebook pages works as I post and follow other pages.

Also, I've been considering doing a kind of "Throwback Thursday" thing where I feature something I treasure from days past - be it a blog post here, a anime review or blog post from other sites, a comment on an anime I used to love (and maybe still do). I dunno. What do you think?

I Have no Secretary

Hey there, folks! I’m going to be completely honest with you: I don’t want to blog today. I started rambling through a paragraph or two based on one post idea, and then I quit. I’ve been busy. But more importantly, I’ve had quite a few serious posts lately, and I’m tired of being serious. My current list of ideas for future posts are serious, too. I’m almost always reflective in nature, but I don’t feel like using the brain power to sort out those reflections and share them at the moment.

Yet, my schedule has “POST” in big capital letters next to today’s date. So I’m sharing a poem that I wrote a few months ago. It has a double meaning. I’m not sure if you’ll pick up on it, depending on your experiences and knowledge, but it’s no fun if I just reveal everything before you read it. Maybe if someone asks, I’ll tell you in the comments. And the tags kind of give it away.

Let me know what you think!

---

“I Have no Secretary”

My friend has a secretary.
She files his memos
In just the right place,
So he can reach them
If he needs them someday.

My friend has a secretary,
So he’s confident.
He need not fear 
That the papers he gathers
Will simply disappear.

My friend has a secretary.
She tells him the time.
She keeps him on track,
And tends to his schedule, 
And helps him switch tasks.

My friend has a secretary.
He thinks everyone does.
She organizes,
She remembers,
So he can live free.

I have no secretary, though
I try to use my clocks.
I try to stay on track
Using whatever means.
With great effort, I switch tasks.

I have no secretary, so
My confidence is low.
Rightfully, I fear
That anything I gather
Could eas’ly disappear.

No, I have no secretary.
I forget to file memos,
At best, they’re out of place,
So I reach desperately
When I need them each day.

My friend has a secretary.
But not everyone does.
I’m disorganized.
Remembering is a great feat.
Sometimes, I wish I were free.